The next chapter that catches my attention is XLVIII where we find Nekhlyudov seeking forgiveness and a new life with Maslova.
To ask for forgiveness, to receive forgiveness and to feel that you should be forgiven are really is a fascinating set of mental processes.
I think I have a gene deep within my DNA that causes me to feel quite a bit of guilt concerning most situations where this feeling could arise. I’m pretty positive that I picked this up from my mother. From what I understand from her, it seems that she grew up in a house where she was made to feel guilty about things most of the time. The funny thing is, I do not feel that I was raised in a similar way – which leads to my thought that I have a guilt gene.
Now, I am pretty sure that if I decided to place myself into some sort of therapy sessions for an extended period of time, the analyst would be able to narrow down a reason why I live my life they way I do.
I live it the way I live it, and I suspect that I’ll continue down this path without much deviation. I’m almost 40, and with this age comes a personality and character traits that are pretty set.
How about a little WTFED
The joy of a wise and kind person lies in his conscience, not on the lips of others.
Lovely… how fitting that the particular wise thought I am quoting above appeared within the last week of the book.
I live everyday with a guilty conscience…but I do not think that my conscience provides me with joy even though I regard myself as a kind person. An about the wise part.
Well, that’s debatable.
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